I can't do anything, just stay and pray
Not for her, but for my soul
The pain is too powerful sadly
Maybe one day I will be happy
Till then I am just a spectator in Hell
And feeling my soul eaten by the flames
My only hope is god, that one day
He will cure my pain and repair my soul
I am scared of this
Because I know the only thing
that will be able to fix me
And I don't think that he will succeed
Just a broken soul trying to fix itself
But while trying I destroyed much more of myself
Wondering with what I will remain in the end?
What's my reason to live if I am broken,
Becoming fearless after every drop of cry
In the end, I will be dead inside
Not very far from where I am right now
But hope in God it's too strong
And as a confession, if the termination wasn't a sin
I didn't think twice
Hard to see
When I am thinking where we could be
Feeling cold and dizzy
Throwing up, not eating
Trying to terminate slowly
Maybe one day I will be fixed
Till then my cancer inside me is spreading
Eating more of me day after day
Fearing that I will remain empty
And not being able to handle my pain
Please pray for me, if I will fail god
Betrayed by my parents
Trying to fight with ignorance
Sadly failing in the process
Destroying me slowly
Maybe god will be so sorry for me
Maybe if I will be terminated
He will make my biggest wish a reality
Begin happy forever with her in his Kingdom
God you know what's inside me
What my soul has gone trough
The only thing that I didn't have
I wanted the most
The most beautiful and biggest gift from you
Just a family to have

De 3 zile nu mai dorm, plang non stop nu mai sunt in stare as fiu fericit sau sa am un motiv sa mai traiesc. Nu mai am pe nimeni si pe cine aveam, acum s-a dus in alta parte acea persona ii duc dorul zilnic imi e dor de ce aveam inainte simt ca more incet si inecat in iadul in care sunt. O iubesc as da tot din mine si ce am pentru ea, am fost odata cine-va pentru ea, acum sunt un nimeni.Am inceput sa scriu ceea ce simt incercand si sperand ca o sa ma ajute dar nu merge, sunt doar un spectator in infern. Mai are rost sa fac ceva, sau zic pentru ultima data o rugaciune in viata asta si termin tot.

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