Glumele americanilor cu romani


Three guys are put in prison: an American, a German and a Romanian. The chief guard gives each of them a pair of heavy bowling balls, just so they won't get too bored. Three months later, the chief guard comes in inspection and asks the three prisoners how they are doing.

The American says: "Hey, giving me those bowling balls was a great idea! I had nothing else to do, so I worked out a lot with those balls, and look at me now: I can do a hundred push-ups in no time!"

The German says: "Sir, thank you for giving me those bowling balls! I had nothing else to do, so I began studying them. I discovered a lot of new theorems in non-euclidean geometry, they're all in this notebook."

The Romanian says: "Oh sir, I am really sorry... you know, those balls... it's really not my fault, but one of them broke and the other one is nowhere to be found!"


God was floating above the Earth with Saint Peter by His side. He had the Horn of Abundance in His hand and from the Horn He was pouring wealth and riches to the peoples of the world. You could see Him dropping a gold mine here, an oil field there, a beautiful landscape over some other place. But at some point, God tried to make a really tight turn, He lost balance, and He dropped the Horn of Abundance.

"Alas!", He cried, "What have I done! I dropped all the riches in one place! Who's living down there, Peter? What nation?"

Peter took out his globe, checked it and said "It's the Romanians, my God. They now have all the riches there can be."

And God shouted down: "Damn you! May you never enjoy them!"


Satan was inspecting Hell. As he was strolling down the alleys, he got to a place where the doomed people were boiling in big cauldrons filled with pitch. Each nation had its own cauldron: Englishmen were boiling together, Frenchmen together, and so on. And by each cauldron a horde of fiends were standing with tridents in their hoofs. Their job was simple: as soon as one of the doomed couldn't take the pain anymore and tried to get out, the fiends stung him with the tridents and dipped him into the pitch again.

However, Satan noticed that one of the cauldrons was completely unattended. So he roared in fury:

"This is outrageous! You will all regret this! How dare you leave a cauldron unattended, and who are the people boiling inside it?"

To which the superintendent replied promptly:

"Your Darkness, do not worry! These people are Romanians, and there is no need to guard them. As soon as one of them tries to get out, the others immediately pull him back in."


Q: What's big, black, noisy, makes a lot of smoke and cuts carrots in five?
A: The Romanian machine for cutting carrots in four.


A gorgeous country... a pity it's inhabited.


An old man goes into a pharmacy and asks the girl behind the counter:
"Excuse me miss, do you have those blue pills that make you feel good?"
"Sure grandpa, they're called Viagra"
"Aha... well, how much does one cost?"
"That'll be 35, 000 lei, grandpa." [Approx. $1]
"Hmm... well, but how long does it last?"
"Well, about 4 hours."
"What? And it costs 35, 000 lei?"
"Yes, I told you."
"Well miss, sorry, but I'm not paying 35, 000 for those extra 15 minutes."


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